And you know, I think I liked it. So I did it again.
There was also something unusual about today. I didn't get up and put on my "painty" pants and an old shirt to do housework and start on projects in the workshop or yard. I took a shower. I put on REAL clothes. I applied a tiny bit of make-up. I haven't done this in about 6 years.
Every day, I wear things that embarrass my children and I just don't care. I'm at home. I'm working hard. I just need to be functional.
Here's the thing. My oldest is 6 now. She's started to ask me things like, "Mom, don't you want to wear something nice?" and "Why don't you wear your nice clothes?" and recently, someone pointed out that children learn how to take care of themselves and present themselves from their parents. SO TRUE. I must do better. I need to show that I care for myself so that my children will care for themselves.
I've avoided photos of myself because I don't like what I see. I've aged. I have gray temples and wrinkles around my eyes. My hair is a mess. I'm usually covered in grime and sawdust and paint. I could stand to lose 20 or 30 lbs (ok, maybe 40). For the sake of my children, I need to learn to love what I see and try to make it better. I need to take care of myself. I need to take that picture... for better or for worse... that's me.